The Day I Understood Nothing… and Still Nailed the Interview with Mirroring

Nicolas Randall
Apr 30
3 min read

What a transport minister taught me about communication — without meaning to.

I was on assignment for a British newspaper. The goal: interview the Minister of Transport of an (undisclosed) country about infrastructure reform.

I arrived at the ministry. Warm handshakes. Coffee. A translator perhaps? I assumed he’d speak English. I was wrong.

“Monsieur, nous allons faire l’entretien en français, oui?”

My French was, let’s say, basic. The minister’s accent? Thick. The subject? Transport economics.

So began one of the most confusing — and oddly successful — interviews of my career.

I Understood Almost Nothing

Within five minutes, I realized I was in trouble. I could barely follow a sentence. But I knew he was talking about transport. And I recognis

ed a few words.

“Aéroport.”

“Privatisation.”

“Budget.”

“Logistique.”

So I did the only thing I could think of:

I started repeating those words back to him. Not adding anything. Just echoing what I’d heard.

“Aéroport?” I asked, slightly raising my eyebrows.

“Oui, exactement!” he said enthusiastically, and went on for another two minutes.

“Privatisation?”

“Absolument! Nous pensons que c’est la clé…”

It went on like this for 40 minutes.

I smiled. I nodded. I repeated. I wrote things down as if I knew what I was doing.

The next day, my editor received a letter from the minister’s office:

“We commend your reporter for his understanding, professionalism, and depth of knowledge.”

I had understood almost nothing.

What I Accidentally Used:

Mirroring

Years later, while reading Never Split the Difference by former FBI negotiator Chris Voss, I discovered I had unknowingly used one of the most powerful communication tools out there: mirroring.

Mirroring is simple. You repeat the last one to three important words your conversation partner says. You do it gently. With curiosity. Not sarcasm.

It does three powerful things:

It makes people feel heard.
It keeps them talking.
It gives you time to process, think, and adjust.

It’s the verbal equivalent of leaning in.

Why Mirroring Works

Most of us think communication is about speaking well.

But the deepest influence comes from listening well.

Mirroring is one of the fastest ways to:

Create rapport
Lower defensiveness
Increase cooperation

Chris Voss used it with terrorists and hostage-takers. I used it with a transport minister. Today, I use it with executives, clients, and audiences — and it works in all those settings.

How You Can Use Mirroring Right Now

Try it in your next conversation.

Someone says:

“We’re worried about delays in the project timeline.”

You respond:

“Delays in the timeline?”

They continue:

“Yeah, because the budget was overestimated and now we’re stuck.”

You say:

“Overestimated budget?”

And on it goes — until they’ve told you everything you need to know… while feeling fully understood.

It’s not magic. But it feels like it.

For Speakers: Mirroring in Q&A and High-Stakes Conversations

I now teach this to public speakers and business leaders, especially in:

Q&A sessions: Repeat the question before answering.
Interviews: Mirror to get more information and buy time.
Difficult conversations: Mirror the key emotional phrase to lower tension and show empathy.

It’s quick, subtle, and surprisingly persuasive.

Final Thought: The Power of Not Knowing

That day with the minister taught me something big.

Being a great communicator isn’t about having all the right answers.

Sometimes, it’s about asking the right questions, showing the right curiosity, and making the other person feel heard.

Even when I understood almost nothing, I left him feeling understood.

That’s what mirroring can do.

Want to learn more techniques like this — and use them to lead, speak, and connect more effectively?

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